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KEePinG uP wiTh tHe eXoCatS
bLuRb things to get straight (no pun intended) ✎Crackfic: A work of fan fiction that is absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally. ✎Lowercase intended. ✎This is written in chat-group style, so just pretend the Exocats have phones. And know Twoleg phrases. ————————— the actual blurb ✎written by mooneffects, who has lost her sanity writing this ✎an exocat crackfiction that probably none of you will understand... ✎enjoy! ————————— sample ✎(sweats nervously) "no, no, we're a perfectly sane, loving household!" ✎"then why is scorch and solstice conspiring to burn the house down?" ePisOdE oNe: pEsT cONtrOL the exocats chat�� ————————— baekon: can someone call the pest control quake: can't you shut up i'm having my beauty nap scorch: you take beauty naps? quake: of course, how do you think i get this handsome scorch: it doesn't seem like it's working quake has left the chat solstice: do you have a death wish quake's going to murder you scorch: i think he's already attempting to i hear someone clawing at my garden fence erigom: scorch you were so rude :( scorch: i take "kill em with kindness" very seriously erigom some day you'll learn what that phrase means erigom: but you should at least apologize :(( scorch: i'll do it if i survive i hear someone scratching my window be right back i need to hide oasis: hopeless tom baekon: eXcUsE mE caN wE get tO tHe rEaL pRobLeM glacious: if it's pest control again- baekon: THERE'S A COCKROACH ON MY TWOLEG'S RUG oasis: baekon calm down it's not like it's going to kill you or anything glacious: it might spread bacteria oasis: doesn't baekon spread enough single-pawed already he gets dirt in between his claws when he hunts and doesn't bother to wash baekon: IT FLEW IN MY FACE!!!11!1!11!!! BEGONE ROACH!! solstice: there's something called going outside baekon: IT WILL CHASE AFTER ME IF I DO solstice: but you're pathologically incapable of calling the pest control i don't get why you're wasting everyone's time by whining about roaches aren't you one yourself like what oasis said you are a germ magnet baekon: ouch apply ice to burned area who taught you such disrespect solstice scorch: i did in his dms baekon: are you kidding me scorch i thought you said you had to hide scorch: i AM hiding i am hiding under my basket covers baekon: that's the worst place to hide scorch: don't judge me, i'm-afraid-of-roaches tom baekon: you did not just- scorch: i did so face the reality of the situation you are bigger than the cockroach and yet you're scared oasis: i don't understand you shouldn't be scared solstice: precisely see baekon everyone agrees baekon: wow, all of you gang up on me �� glacious: top 10 anime betrayals baekon: not you too at least i still have erigom erigom: well - i do think solstice has a point baekon: that's it baekon has left the chat end of episode one, stay tuned for the next episode of insanity ePiSoDe tWO: vEgEtaRiAn pHasE (inspired) the exocats chat�� ————————— scorch: that's it i'm going vegetarian baekon: pfft quake: is this a joke glacious: i call tomfoolery oasis: your jokes are getting worse and worse both of you �� baekon: alexa play sweet lies �� scorch: wHAT yOu tHinK tHiS a jOkE?! quake: yes so stop disturbing my beauty nap scorch: it seems like it's becoming a convenient excuse to shut me up quake removed scorch reason: honey, attitude is not tolerated, learn your manners baekon: well now that that annoyance is gone, how long do you want to bet he survives solstice: one hour glacious: one day oasis: three days, have a little faith in your fellow friend quake: three minutes erigom: quote 'quake: three minutes' three minutes XD baekon: i bet he's only lasting five hours erigom: i say a week baekon: prepare to load the money cannons with your life savings then, we're all betting five hundred dollars erigom: i should've known, coming from you :pensive: nightingale: this ain't discord, kid oasis: NIGHTINGALE baekon: DRAMATIC GASP solstice: you never talk in here! erigom: quote 'nightingale: this ain't discord, kid' what do you ''know, email tom :triumph: '''nightingale:' it seems disrespect is becoming more prevalent these days. back in my day... baekon: which is how many decades ago? nightingale: hOW ''DARE ''YOU Category:Joke Pages Category:Fanfictions Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete) Category:Fanfictions (Fanon) Category:Content (Mooneffects)